Bully Me? My A$@!

I have not seen the movie “Bully”, but I have lived it and have something to say about the overall topic.

First, one of the stories was about an 11 year old who committed suicide because the level of bullying he was receiving was so bad the he couldn’t take it any more. This is heinous and tragic, the fact that it was not noticed and addressed by school officials, parents, or for that matter another student, is also heinous. In no way should a kid feel like the only way out is to kill themselves.

In 1977, when I was 12, my family moved from upstate New York to South Dakota. I was a skinny kid and didn’t know anyone. The geeky kids (I too was geeky) befriended me, and I them. Now being a geeky skinny new kid made me a target for the tough kid bullies to pick on, and they did. Naturally I did not tell any teachers or my parents about it, instead I tried to make myself invisible, but that didn’t work. Finally I said something to my mother and she said this simple thing, “If someone hits you, you hit them back…harder”. Not being a fighter made that a potentially big move, but one that I would eventually try. The next few times the bullies came at me I fought back…and yes, I was beaten up a few times. The thing about it is, they eventually stopped because I was no longer an easy target…I became a target that would fight back, and that took all of the fun out of it for them.

Parents need to be involved with their kids school life, ask the how their day is every day, look for signs of something not quite right. If the kid has friends, ask them, if no friends ask the teachers. The teachers, hall monitors, other kids…somebody has seen the bullying. The teachers should be aware of the signs of bullying in their students, and they should not be afraid of addressing the situation.

Bullying is not some new thing that suddenly needs to be tackled, it was alive and well 35 years ago for me, and long before that in general. Appeasement does not stop it, hiding does not stop it, trying to ignore it does not work. Telling parents and school officials is the first approach, maybe they can intervene and end the problem. Then again maybe that will only piss off the bully, making them think retribution. However, the effort must be made.

Ultimately what will deter a bully is if one day when he walks up and pushes a kid, knocks his books on the floor, tries to take their lunch money…and the bullied kid suddenly turns and starts to pummel the bully. The bullied kid may take a few lumps in the process, but so will the bully…and chances are the bully will eventually move on. Bullies like to talk a big game and intimidate, but most of them don’t want to actually have to fight, and get hit.

A kid needs to approach bullying the same as a nation approaches hostile nations. Appeasement does not deter the tough kid on the block…the tough kid thinking he may get a bloody nose as a result of his actions does.

Sgt. Hug

Advertisements

2 Comments

Filed under Society

2 responses to “Bully Me? My A$@!

  1. Corey

    I am going to go ahead and refuse to accept the linkage. An 11 year old does not ponder suicide. They ponder making themselves invisible, making themselves tougher by asking Mom to take karate classes, they ponder making themselves stronger by bench pressing 60lbs. They don’t ponder suicide. That unfortunate soul (a) grew up in a fucked up environment (b) was probably ignored (c) was probably chemically imbalanced on top of environmental poverty. I got the crap kicked out of me all the time; some deserved, some bullying. There are lessons in those beatings that include (a) after a while, people get good at punching, so you avoid it after about age 12 (b) standing up for yourself by tactical avoidance or through fighting back applies to the real world (c) the so-called bullies usually ended up being complete putzes in life anyway.

    • Very true, there had to have been more going on that was left out. I knew many people who were bullied, and none of them had a thought of offing themselves, as you said, they learned how to dodge and avoid until it passed. Me on the other hand have a streak that wouldn’t take it, so I fought, and took lumps…and gave plenty of them back (after some practice).

      Maybe I’ll break down and watch the movie, though the helpless tone it appears to have will probably drive me crazy.

      Sgt. Hug

Leave a Reply to Sgt. Hug Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s